Things I Won’t Miss About the USA

Ten things I could never get used to. Note that unlike most critics of the USA, I actually lived there for years and years. For what it’s worth.

  1. Religion a routine part of daily life to rampant creationism, abstinence education, and belief in the impending End Times to people who are offended if you say “damn.”
  2. Political conservatism to no real Left, almost no unions to poverty the fault of poor people.
  3. Social conservatism to death penalty and early marriage fine, interracial dating still controversial to feminists that nevertheless expected me to pay for everything on a date.
  4. A health care system at the mercy of insurance companies to try not to get sick.
  5. Deep-seated federalism to state’s rights to a culture of decentralization and a suspicion of government to locally-funded public schools to half of America doesn’t know the Earth goes around the Sun once a year.
  6. Cheap gasoline to urban sprawl, lack of public transportation and sidewalks, SUVs, and Texas to a tendency to invade Iraq.
  7. Protestant work ethic to one-hour commutes acceptable, fifteen-minute lunches eaten at your desk, ten days leave a year, and sometimes no sick leave or maternity leave at all.
  8. A food culture degraded by the drive for convenience to flavorless produce bred only for looks and shipping, and processed foods laden with corn syrup to ghastly industrial farming and entrenched protectionist agricultural subsidies to Cool-Whip, Easy Cheese, and Twinkies
  9. Obsession with slavery and the Civil War (because nobody else in the world ever had slaves or a civil war) to omnipresent racial politics to lack of engagement with other racial problems, like genocide and immigration.
  10. American exceptionalism to insularity to educated people arguing that if everyone had a gun in their home we’d all be better off, despite evidence from the rest of the world that this might not be the case.

It’s interesting to note that a New Zealander in the US saying these things is accused (more than once) of “hating America” and told to go home. An expatriate American criticizing New Zealand would likely get rueful shrugs and sighs of agreement. OK, and then people would call him a wanker behind his back, but still.

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