Adorno claimed the world is evil, because we could be living in Paradise but instead it’s just California. • Out of all the Great Assassinations of Our Time (Time-Life, 1976–78), why is Vol. 5 (Walter Reuther) always the one in used-book stores? • Imagine when everyone in the world finally spells résumé with two acutes. Overhead, without any fuss, the stars will be going out. • Ulysses S. Grant once rehearsed the part of Desdemona, but luckily an actual woman arrived. What US President today would admit to that? I presume Ulysses (who wrote a very readable presidential autobiography, incidentally, all by himself) had not yet grown a beard. Grant later defeated Johnson, President because Lincoln was shot by the brother of the best friend of that Othello director’s son. Coincidence? • Nobody who watches TV every night has permission to say “some people have too much time on their hands.” • In UC Library suggestion box: “Could the ‘Library will be closing in 15 minutes’ announcements be in English and Māori, please.” • What, if anything, is Paris Hilton? According to the Press, she’s a “celebrity lifestyle identity”. So now you know. • Weierstrass’s elliptic function [ ℘ ] is my favourite Unicode. Though the reference mark [ ※ ] is nice. And…a snowman in a fez. ☃ • Colleagues found a website mockup JPEG. Nothing happened when they clicked on buttons, so thought computer had frozen. CtrlAltDel. Repeat. • When Harold Macmillan visited India in 1958, Nehru asked, “I wonder if the Romans ever went back to visit Britain?” • Becoming a Justice of the Peace in NZ is like sitting your driver’s license theory test, but you have to have over 300 Facebook friends. • Just took 140 homeopathic anti-insomnia pills for the TV cameras. If I stop tweeting you’ll know why. • @adzebill

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