Orange: the only juice for which manufacturers can claim, “No no, we meant the COLOUR.”
Bemused by people who can afford a computer and broadband but email me because they’ve run out of prepay minutes on their phone.
If Beck and Palin had announced their 2012 Presidential candidacy on 9/11, then the terrorists would have won. Also, the Mayans.
On the cover of Handwriting Analysis for Dummies, the title is set in Comic Sans. What is the author trying to hide?
An online review of Decline and Fall describes Evelyn Waugh as “not my favorite post-modern author.” God bless user-created content.
Imagined UC Library suggestion box: “Could the ‘Library is being munted by an earthquake’ announcements be in English and Māori, please.”
My friend’s new kitchen has so much cupboard space it could inconspicuously house a small nocturnal child.
It’s all fun and games until the pale-skinned sunbather realises the swan thinks he is a lady swan.
Even if a student has an amusing name, I really shouldn’t make up nursery rhymes about them.
Force de frappe. Does anyone have a wussier name for its nuclear arsenal than France? Scary as a wet slap.
Why are those folks most clueless about the internet—even self-described technophobes—the ones convinced they can make money off it? Ignorance is seen as a barrier to getting rich from medicine, property investment, or racehorse breeding. But the Web’s fair game, it seems.
My mum, looking for an easy-to-remember phone number, was chuffed to find that one ending in “666” was strangely not taken. Now every time I call her I shall think, “Hail Satan, Mum.”
@adzebill