Ah, that little frisson of horror and shame when you accidentally type your password in the wrong field and can READ IT. • Our HR software lets me request annual leave or sick leave in the years 1900 through 2100. Handy for the working time traveller. • To get their license, every used-book store in NZ must stock at least one (1) copy of Muldoon’s Rise & Fall of a Young Turk. • Thai restaurant playing salsa remix of Coldplay’s Clocks. Numerous people in this process could have come to their senses. Quite like Franz Ferdinand cumbia cover in Español though. • As kids in St Louis, William Burroughs’s mum and T S Eliot used to walk to dance classes past Prufrock’s Furniture Store. • “Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.” —Cyril Connolly • “Of course, you realise, Connolly, that whoever wins the war, we shall emerge a second-rate nation.” —Orwell (Eric Blair), aged 11 • Halloween costume I’d like to see: 6 five-year-olds dressed as jawas, one with a taser. Trick or treat! • Historic Moments in Knitting 1: Lord Raglan orders the Earl of Cardigan’s Light Brigade charge in the Battle of Balaclava. • Voting is essentially ineffectual thus irrational, so why not vote for irrational reasons? Me, I like the orange felt pens. • I always wanted to read a time-travel story starring a elderly couple named Rex and Gloria Mundy. • Thomas Friedman is a case study of how far you can go with a moustache and unshakeable self-confidence. • The disco scenes in Scarface are so badly choreographed, they almost look real. • Reading Schaller’s field observations of pandas: each day they eat for 14 hours, and poo 20 kg of semi-digested bamboo. That’s a the weight of a six-year-old. Helpful if you’re an artist who wants to sculpt an entire primary-school class in panda poo. • @adzebill

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