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The platypus lays eggs and produces milk, so is the only animal that can make its own custard. • Is the apostrophe in Hallowe’en a wankapostrophe or a jackostrophe? Or a jackasstrophe? A jerkostrophe? Too many choices. Help. • Chagrined to realise that Methven bathroom fittings are not, and never have been, made in Methven (pop 1326). No reason to visit now. • Practising “The Ballad of Toshihiko Fukui (Former Governor of the Bank of Japan)” on my ukulele, from Haywood’s fab NZ Reserve Bank Annual 2010. • Hint: when starting a discussion on “Digital Information: Order or Anarchy?”, using a £44.95 hardcover book is not a good look. • “CVs” are archaic. They should be 140 chars: Name, email, website, www-thing-I-did, ditto, ditto. Database that. • Why a “peer-reviewed” Wikipedia is doomed: en.citizendium.org/wiki/Bach_flower_therapy in the, ahem, Biology section. Très scholarly. • Citizendium has 12,836 articles (a whole 121 of which are “expert approved”). Wikipedia has 3,128,945. So it’s anyone’s game, I guess. Hmm. • M2 magazine plugs $15,000 watch. There are cheaper ways to say “I am a douchebag,” but few so portably efficient. Bonus: it tells the time. • Highlander canned caramel is “not suitable as a complete milk food for infants.” • Laredo, TX (pop. 230,000) will soon be the largest city in the US without a bookstore. Of any kind. Which towns in NZ will lose theirs? • Dylan Thomas in a 1950s recording of “A Child’s Christmas in Wales” sounds completely un-Welsh; he’s as RP as an RSC Lear. • @adzebill

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