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The wolf spider Lycosa tarantula is named after Taranto, Italy, and so, indirectly, are both the tarantella and those giant New World spiders. As a kid, this always bothered me: “There are no tarantulas in Europe!” Finally, it’s sorted. Yes, I was an odd child. • Rhythmic construction drill outside sounds just like the dramatic BRWAANG BRWAANG chords in Inception. How do I wake up? • Knitting jargon: SABLE (Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy) means owning more yarn than you could knit in your life. Unless my book-buying habits change radically, I may have reached BABLE. • If the Anglicans had only figured out a way to play rugby in the Cathedral it would have been rebuilt by now. • I am now an Aucklander. Yet I still distinctly remember the rest of New Zealand. Must take a while to kick in. • I would be much more likely to watch Game Of Thrones if they reshot it with a cast of guinea pigs. • Hope you’ve all taken your anti-nausea pills, because Prezi is in da house! • The nose on that kid’s SpongeBob backpack is so three-dimensional it would have scandalised the Victorians. • The further into the gallery show we go, the less crowded it gets. As if the visitors were being quietly eaten by the art. • If called up on stage by a mime and invited to have a lightsaber duel with retractable tape measures I think I would acquit myself well. • Pointy shoes; stripy trousers; flowery shirt, cuff links, untucked; sunnies on spiky gelled head. Kiwi manhood on parade. • What shocked Flaubert about De Sade was that, in all of Justine, “there isn’t a single tree, or a single animal.” • @adzebill

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